Sunday, April 3, 2016

Does the dowry sin?

When at the daughter's age of 25, most of the parents will thought about her to get married soon. The father will bought all the assets made till in his life and made a price to buy the bridegroom. Of course, literally it is a flat sale. The demand of the bridegroom set by his parents and an alliance is made by the mediators.

I have a scene like, when my friend is giving a decent dowry, where her father put his most try but the alliance made a tie with an another extra amount of some lakhs. She shared her greiviance, how hard to her father to collect that extra amount. Then in the frustration, she showed anger on me and on the masculine too. Her straight question, if my father had tried his best, why the groom parents asking for more and what the hell groom is doing? After all, it is a matter of understanding, but personally, I support her words.

And after the another case in my life, actually which provoked me to write this post, If the husband has died, and he earned hard cored assets and expired in mid of his life... then all the assets have an authority for his sole wife, neglecting his parents. Then whether the girl would take his dowry back and will return remaining to their money to father-in-law? Of course the Indian law says, she has sole power of attorney on her husband assets, but the loss is from both the sides, a wife lost her husband and parents lost their son.

I donno the answer on which side I need to be. After all, money decides the human nature. But I understood, every human, including me., will bias to the benefit side.

But our discussion is about, whether Is taking dowry sin? Again I couldn't give the exact answer, because people are seeing both sides of the coin. But I recommend taking dowry is your wish, but if you take the dowry, let all the assets be on her name and make it as savings for her. My understanding on dowry, it is given to the girl for her safety.

And a final twist comes in here, if the girl is already well educated and standing on her own, earning her own pecks, then where the dowry should be placed? Of course, it is a valid point from a girl, after all, she is standing on her own, the dowry asset is to keep her safe. But every educated girl wouldn't get the dowry-free husband. Their mind set will be different. A change should come from the minds of groom and his parents. I encourage that the girl should demand too for dowry free.

Middle Note - I donno the actual essence of dowry, but I took the positive side... A dowry comes from the point that, during old days, people get married soon, where the groom side won't have much money to sustain the life(his father invested money on his studies) and then with a new woman in his life(woman were not earning at those ages) will be more hard, but by the time, his father in law will be earned some bugs and set alliance to keep his daughter well look after and which also helps the groom to be handy if he is capable to double the assets.
Now the things have changed, if the girl comes with no dowry, men should take her grant. This is for girls, Don't expect men and parents should come up first, we are in a society of benefit, not in the age of self-respect.


After a few days of discussion with my friend

he proposed the solution for the second case, he suggested in one case, if the wife took the assets, she need to be with the father and mother in law and serve them till their lives or else if not opting for the money, she can marry another one.

And a counter question for the twist comes, if girl proposed for the dowry free as she was earning, she should not expect anything from the boys' side too. And it would be like a girl is dependent on father and mother in law. And both the couples need to come out of the family and they both need to manage to find their way to be well settled as a matter of self respect.

After from the different persons perceptions, I thought this would not come to end. As said, it have two heads and four tongues, in either way you will be discouraged out.